Ok.. this post seems to have come out of left field, but in sitting at Tatum's basketball tournament today Jon looked around this HS gym and noticed a few things.. First was that "the after school basketball team was a great program and opportunity for many, but it was horrible basketball and painful to watch! :) But his second comment hit home.. "Look at everyone's shoes, T included.. " I thought to myself what about it? " Nobody has super nice , expensive basketball shoes" I followed with " many cannot afford it. He then reminded me.." Yes, your right, but many CAN afford it and chose not to spend the money cause NO BODY cares! That's right, no body cares if your shoes say, Nike, Adidas, or no name at all. They are mearly shoes to get you from point A to point B.. nothing else... He then said " at home everyone would have on an expensive pair of flashy shoes to say "here I am ", but not here.. So as we continue on "our" journey to not only make Hawaii home but to really find ourselves as a family I have taken time to sit back and really look at myself, Jon and our children. For us we are still stuck in the world of the unknown. It is very much a culture shock for us and the kids in so many way. I look at life on the mainland with wide open eyes now. Mainland has so many opportunities for children, if you want to pay for it. Mainland has amazing schools ( Mary Woodward will forever hold a special place in our hearts!) but isn't school what your child and family makes of it? Appearance and social status means so much on the mainland to many, and I will be the first to admit we too were caught up in this! But why? Why does the Mainland put so much emphasis on money? I will freely admit that we like nice stuff, (still do, but we'll get to that) nice cars, eating out, so on and so forth..but why? what does it all mean in the end? One of the reasons we chose to leave was that our children were getting caught up in all of these and we were very much to blame. We wanted to give our kids the best of everything but were not seeing the ultimate disaster is was becoming. Always asking for something, always wanting more, and yes, saying "thank you" but did they really mean it? When we moved it was very liberating. Yes, we live in a very nice community but most here have nice homes and that is it. And in all reality no one cares! that's right, no one cares.. Yes, there are still your "Joneses" but very few and far between. Kids here wear uniforms, no one cares if your Tshirt says Abercrombie or its from goodwill, many are just happy to have a clean shirt ,and if you are my boys, shirts are overrated and seldom worn. Many sports here are free and we still have after school sports in the schools. Sports are more about the basics at the young age versus winning and losing, or who can have the best jerseys, shoes equipment because they can afford it. It is about the pure fact that these kids have a strong desire to play no matter what, even if there shoes are 3 sizes to small or their field has grass as high as their knees.. They just want to learn the game and be successful. For them it's not about who scores, but who made the awesome pass. Its about the "Team" and how blessed they are to be apart of it. Yes, you still have some programs like our soccer team that you shell out tons of money for, but we fundraise as well and it's not just a team, its a family. Jon and I both will tell you we have always pushed our children because we saw potential, but here.. everyone has potential. They all have this animal instinct to "want it". That was very different for us, especially with T as she has always been blessed with altheltism but now it is coming down to the basics and really the four "D's" as my grandfather taught me.. Determination, dedication, desire and discipline. Kids on the mainland have a few and many have all, but here everyone lives and breathes those 4 words in "life" not just sports. Sports are not just not about "I" here there are definitely a "we"!
At home for a long time I felt that your social status had so much do with your appearance, your home, and cars. What restaurant you ate on Saturday night and what jeans you wore. Over the last 2 yrs I can say that I changed that thinking, largely because we finally fell into what I would call "real friendships" that taught us alot. But if I am being honest, my appearance and ( lord help me, ) my jeans still made me feel special. How terrible is that, what lesson am I teaching my kids? Nothing.. that's right nothing! Being here has not only shown me what I have always known, but never seem to practice ... Money means nothing and will not give you happiness! Money can buy you all the coaching, fancy shoes, jeans and so on, but if you don't appreciate the opportunity or are willing to fulling give it your all you will fail. Politics and money do not buy your way here!
Being here in Hawaii has shown us the double standards we have been caught up in on the mainland. It is refreshing to take a step back and look at who we were vs who we have become in such a short time. Now, I am not saying that we have completely changed our views more so realized what is and what isn't important. I still love me my Lululemon, but know that I don;t have to go there weekly to be happy. Jon and I may have a strong desire for a date night, but we can have a date night at home and make it just as fun as going out to a nice restaurant. We both realize that being healthy and looking healthy is more important than wearing a certain size or seeing every bone or vein in our body, I said "realize" we both are working on achieving this "goal" liking who we are! Being in an environment were people genuinely could care less what you wear, have or look like has been very welcoming and healing for us and reminded us that this is what we wanted to prove not only to ourselves but our children. We felt we had this in our close circle of friends but not in society as a whole. Money can give you lots of "stuff" and buy you a "look" , but that's all it is! Stuff.. it brings nothing to the table in terms of who you are as a person or what you can bring to a relationship. Money comes and goes but "you" as a person and what you truly represent will always remain.
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