Back to Normal

Well, we are now 4 mths into our journey and I think it is safe to say we have hit our normal.. We definitely have our routines down and things are all falling into place. We have great friends and our kids have made some amazing friends and all in all we are very happy. Kids are all involved in something and it is keeping us busy like it did at home. The boys are playing baseball and are finishing up training season and about to start regular season. Jon is coaching them both with Carson playing up one level so that both boys are on the same team. Jon has never coached the boys and I believe that it is a wee bit challenging for him. The fact that "boys will be boys" and they have no attention span at this age it a mystery to him.. He keeps saying  "but Tatum and her team" referring to the softball girls he had coached since kindergarten.. I have to remind him that girls and boys are very different at this age and girls tend to listen and do where as boys may listen, may do.. but it will last for 10 mins and then their minds wander. It is killing him, but he is slowly understanding the mind of a 6,7,8, and 9 yr old boys.. not sure why he dosen;t get it since it is not much different from his attention span! :) Now, I think he is also struggling with the issue of his high expectations when it comes to baseball. I went thru this last year coaching T in basketball and it was hard for me given bball was my first love.. Since Jon was so successful in baseball I think he has expectations that are beyond the grasp of a little boy and because he seems to think he had this love, desire and discipline for the game at age 8 that our boys should too.. I think he is a little off and thinking he was more 11, 12 when all that came into play and remind him our boys are KIDS and when they fall in love with the game it will happen, but for now it needs to be fun. Easier said then done, right?
Now as for our little princess.. we have been on a rollarcoaster with her since we got here. she has settled in great at school, with friends and all in all she was doing well.. Soccer was more of a going thru the motions as she was intimated by the situation. She is the new girl on the block coming into a team that has been together for years and she was struggling with finding her place and role. She came from a spot where she was "queen bee" and she was praised for most that she did.. This is very different here.. not only is the game different but she is no longer top dog.. what a blow to her ego! We have reminded her that she is not the best player ( but could be.. ) but by far not the worst.. she just needed to assert herself and play the game without being intimidated. I will give her this.. they are playing a year up (2 yrs now for spring.. yikes) and the girls are big and fast, but she is capable if she puts her mind to it. That being said she was playing great one weekend and terrible another.. Jon and I were so frustrated, as one week she would play well and play alot, then the next it was back in the tank. We encouraged her to just go play like she loves the game and we were worried she was becoming disenchanted. We told her that we may have to move her as this team is expensive and the commute is long.. she understood, but was not willing to accept it.. that's all it took.. she went out the last 2 weeks and played great.. this weekend it finally clicked and she played so well. She was given many opportunities to shine and she did! She played, hard, fast and very aggressive and we Saw a glimpse of the old Tatum! We had countless parents not only from our team but from the other "bulls" teams comment on her speed and how great she was playing..  Then Monday rolled around and during the semifinals she played a fair amount in the first half, but didn't step on the field in the second. Now with this team in the past it would not have bothered her, (it happened over thanksgiving tournament, as her coach was trying to piss her off and she didn't care..)  at "home" she would have been furious.. When we got back to our team tent I could tell she was off a bit. she didn't really want to socialize and she even asked to go home. I pulled her aside and asked what was wrong.. her answer.."Im so pissed that i didn't get to play in the second half! " AMEN.. she cared, she was mad, her desire to play was finally stronger than just the desire to be a part of the team! Now, when I say mad.. i should say furious, angry.. I was proud of her for feeling that way. She was finally getting her fight back in her. I told her it was good to be mad and that she needed to ask her coach why she didn't play if it bothered her..She gave me a hug and then was pulled off to go hang out with some of the girls. As a mom I was so happy to see my child get her spirit back even thought I was sad for her. But she learned a big lesson over the last four months and hopefully it is all sinking in..
Now as for J and I.. we are both doing really well. We love it here and have made the comment more than once, unless something major happens we cannot see ourselves leaving. Our family is so close, we spend so much time outside and enjoy the sun and fresh air. Things are so laid back and we have become a little less stressed and slowed our life a tad. My anxiety is slowly going away and I feel free and happy here..

New Gym.. New Outlook?

Ok... so for all of you who know us.. The gym has always been our second home, if not first! For all of you who know me.. that has created many demons, monsters, rollarcoasters, drama.. so on and so forth! Since arriving here in paradise I have tried very hard to live life and not "worry" so much about the "gym" or my physical appearance, as that is not what is important to many here or really in life..(easier said than done!) I've always known that Clubsport was a downfall for me, us, our family in so many ways.. but on the other hand it created some very good things for us as well. So taking that all in stride we really didn't join a gym here.. we run outside, we walk everywhere, ride our bikes, Jon got me a trainer for my bike, weights at home and p90x.. as much as I was enjoying myself I missed the social aspect of going to the gym.. the classes and just the interaction. Jon is part of a lawyers league at the YWCA in town and plays bball daily, but wasn't finding the time to lift. That all said he came home last week and surprised our family with a "field trip" per say. We had driven past the place up the street several times and wondered what it was.. it looked like a big church, or some sort of school. When we arrived there he announced that it was a new gym that was opening within the week and we were going on a tour.. The kids were already sold from seeing the outside.. 2 huge water slides like you would see at a water park and a large kid area that had the sprinklers, bucket that dumped water, slides and bball in the water. We toured what is called the KROC center and it was/is amazing. A mini clubsport per say. A large gym with 3 courts, full workout facility, a dynamic training area,  2 aerobic rooms for classes, a lap pool outside with at least 12 lanes, the water slides, a lazy river, a pool just for water aerobic classes, and the kids area.. Plus... a cafe, art studio for kids, computer lab for kids, performing arts programming for the kids and a Worship center.. There was nothing more to want, need or ask for.. it is gorgeous and so inexpensive.. $100 for a family of 5!! Beats the 215 I was paying at CS.. Anyways, I was sold and we signed up at that very moment. Jon and I have been everyday since it opened and it is so nice to be able to do my run outside and head up there for weights and a swim.. The kids love the pools, even though Carson is to short for the slides. They all made friends there last week while swimming and that is exactly what we wanted for them.. Well, the boys made friends, T was with her BFF Lauryn and they stuck to them each others sides! Jon and I sat back and watched the kids play and enjoy themselves and realized that this is what we loved from clubsport.. these were the moments we remembered and appreciated there. Not the times were we got ourselves so obsessed with looking a certain way that the gym became about being unhealthy and a job vs. healthy and fun! So my new outlook with our new "home" is to enjoy it, use it for the purpose of being healthy and remember that we all have our hang ups and we all struggle with something.. We are not all perfect and being a certain size will not make me funnier, happier, or prettier.. But being healthy, happy and enjoyable to be around will make me those things and more!

Kids love this area.. 

it's dark, but you can see the slides in back and beginning of lazy river

Courtyard area.. its in between the bball courts and the pools

Blessed..

We often forget how lucky we are to have healthy, happy, well adjusted.. (ok, so not everday.. but most! :) ) kids.. We are truly blessed to have kids whom are social, academic, competitive kids who are able to adapt to many new and overwhelming situations. I have mentioned before how hard the move was on J and I, and how brave our children have been, well this week the proof was given to us.. Monday there was as an all school assembly to hand out academic awards to those that achieved "exceeding" grade level grades.. To my suprise and many others (Amanda) all 3 of my children received awards.. The biggest shocker was that Carson was top dog.. followed close by T and then Logan. Carson and Tatum both recieved the "Principal's List" award meaning they were exceeding in both math and reading, and the top 3 in their class. Logan recieved a literature award and just missed the award for math, per his teacher. Math is very different here and they are further ahead then we were on the mainland, so he is playing a little catch up but it hitting his stride and really enjoying the math now.. It was so refreshing to see that my kids were doing so well and had settled into their new school. The assembly also recognized the school basketball teams for the boys and girls. They handed out 2 awards for both teams, one of hustle and the other being MVP.. When they mentioned MVP.. the crowd all chanted "Tatum" it was really neat being that she has only been their 3 months.. and then her name was announced for MVP and everyone cheered. She was surprised and a little caught of guard but loved the recognition. So all in all a great morning for our kids and proof that we haven't ruined thier lives by moving them! :) Sadly, our day took a turn for the worst.. shortly after the assemebly I recieved terrible news that Tatum's friend from home had passed away. She had been fighting cancer for almost 2 yrs and lost her battle. I knew T would not take the news well and didn't even know how to tell her. Tina and T had been friends since 1st grade.. sat on the bus together, played together and sang all the time.. T did not have the relationship with her like Taylor and Jessie but they were still really close. T loved her and considered her a close friend. I had the worst job of breaking my sweet childs heart. It was terrible.. I put it out there as delicate as I could and watched her heart slowly break as the tears ran down her face and the hysterical crying began. I felt powerless and lost. I had no idea what to do or say in that moment other than I loved her. She layed in my lap and cried for what felt like forever then asked to be alone. I gave her the space she needed and knew when she was ready she would come to us. She is so lucky to have 3 amazing BFF's.. Lauryn came over to cheer her up and T really didn't say much but her presence helped cheer T up. Then Jessie and T skyped and again a little smile came to her face..But by bedtime she was sad again. I reminded her it was ok to be sad and that she could cry or be upset whenever she wanted. I reminded her how short and unfair life can be and that we had to sieze all of our opportunities just like Tina did. Tina was a brave, strong and giving child, whom left us far to soon, but reminded us how life should be lived. I asked T what she learned from Tina, if anything.. she told me.. " to live each day just like you want to, take advantage of all the chances you are given, always have smile and to be lucky that I have family and friends who care and love me.. Lesson learned. Tina has given my child the next best gift to her friendship.. and glimpse of how to live her life to the fullest. Tina has Blessed our family and will always be in our heart and we will do our best to live each day to the fullest!

Double standards..

Ok.. this post seems to have come out of left field, but in sitting at Tatum's basketball tournament today Jon looked around this HS gym and noticed a few things.. First was that "the after school basketball team was a great program and opportunity for many, but it was horrible basketball and painful to watch! :) But his second comment hit home.. "Look at everyone's shoes, T included.. " I thought to myself what about it? " Nobody has super nice , expensive basketball shoes" I followed with " many cannot afford it. He then reminded me.." Yes, your right, but many CAN afford it and chose not to spend the money cause  NO BODY cares! That's right, no body cares if your shoes say, Nike, Adidas, or no name at all. They are mearly shoes to get you from point A to point B.. nothing else... He then said " at home everyone would have on an expensive pair of flashy shoes to say "here I am ", but not here..  So as we continue on "our" journey to not only make Hawaii home but to really find ourselves as a family I have taken time to sit back and really look at myself, Jon and our children. For us we are still stuck in the world of the unknown. It is very much a culture shock for us and the kids in so many way. I look at life on the mainland with wide open eyes now. Mainland has so many opportunities for children, if you want to pay for it. Mainland has amazing schools ( Mary Woodward will forever hold a special place in our hearts!)  but isn't school what your child and family makes of it? Appearance and social status means so much on the mainland to many, and I will be the first to admit we too were caught up in this! But why? Why does the Mainland put so much emphasis on money? I will freely admit that we like nice stuff, (still do, but we'll get to that) nice cars, eating out, so on and so forth..but why? what does it all mean in the end? One of the reasons we chose to leave was that our children were getting caught up in all of these and we were very much to blame. We wanted to give our kids the best of everything but were not seeing the ultimate disaster is was becoming. Always asking for something, always wanting more, and yes, saying "thank you" but did they really mean it? When we moved it was very liberating. Yes, we live in a very nice community but most here have nice homes and that is it. And in all reality no one cares! that's right, no one cares.. Yes, there are still your "Joneses" but very few and far between. Kids here wear uniforms, no one cares if your Tshirt says Abercrombie or its from goodwill, many are just happy to have a clean shirt ,and if you are my boys, shirts are overrated and seldom worn. Many sports here are free and we still have after school sports in the schools. Sports are more about the basics at the young age versus winning and losing, or who can have the best jerseys, shoes equipment because they can afford it. It is about the pure fact that these kids have a strong desire to play no matter what, even if there shoes are 3 sizes to small or their field has grass as high as their knees.. They just want to learn the game and be successful. For them it's not about who scores, but who made the awesome pass. Its about the "Team" and how blessed they are to be apart of it. Yes, you still have some programs like our soccer team that you shell out tons of money for, but we fundraise as well and it's not just a team, its a family. Jon and I both will tell you we have always pushed our children because we saw potential, but here.. everyone has potential. They all have this animal instinct to "want it". That was very different for us, especially with T as she has always been blessed with altheltism but now it is coming down to the basics and really the four "D's" as my grandfather taught me.. Determination, dedication, desire and discipline. Kids on the mainland have a few and many have all, but here everyone lives and breathes those 4 words in "life" not just sports. Sports are not just not about "I" here there are definitely a "we"!
At home for a long time I felt that  your social status had so much do with your appearance, your home, and cars. What restaurant you ate on Saturday night and what jeans you wore. Over the last 2 yrs I can say that I changed that thinking, largely because we finally fell into what I would call "real friendships" that taught us alot. But if I am being honest, my appearance and ( lord help me, ) my jeans still made me feel special. How terrible is that, what lesson am I teaching my kids? Nothing.. that's right nothing! Being here has not only shown me what I have always known, but never seem to practice ... Money means nothing and will not give you happiness! Money can buy you all the coaching, fancy shoes, jeans and so on, but if you don't appreciate the opportunity or are willing to fulling give it your all you will fail.  Politics and money do not buy your way here!
Being here in Hawaii has shown us the double standards we have been caught up in on the mainland. It is refreshing to take a step back and look at who we were vs who we have become in such a short time. Now, I am not saying that we have completely changed our views more so realized what is and what isn't important. I still love me my Lululemon, but know that I don;t have to go there weekly to be happy. Jon and I may have a strong desire for a date night, but we can have a date night at home and make it just as fun as going out to a nice restaurant. We both realize that being healthy and looking healthy is  more important than wearing a certain size or seeing every bone or vein in our body, I said "realize" we both are working on achieving this "goal" liking who we are! Being in an environment were people genuinely could care less what you wear, have or look like has been very welcoming and healing for us and reminded us that this is what we wanted to prove not only to ourselves but our children. We felt we had this in our close circle of friends but not in society as a whole.  Money can give you lots of "stuff" and buy you a "look" , but that's all it is! Stuff.. it brings nothing to the table in terms of who you are as a person or what you can bring to a relationship. Money comes and goes but "you" as a person and what you truly represent will always remain.

it's all a big change..

When you move you are always worried about everything but yourself or your spouse! We are now finally settling in and things are becoming routine.. school, soccer, kids friends knocking at 8 am on a Saturday morning, movie nights with the neighborhood kids, and on and on.. Notice a pattern? We were so concerned about getting the kids settled and making the move as smooth as possible for them that we forgot about ourselves! The kids can now saw they love it here and things are on the up and up, (really what's not to love!?) hmm, as I type that I ask myself that very question.. and the only thing that comes to mind is my friends and family are not here. Jon and I had an in depth talk the other night over our decisions and choices thus far in our life. He looked at me and asked me " Did we make the right decision?" I was very caught off guard by this question and it got my mind wandering. For me it was never really a question of whether to move or not. Jon was presented with an amazing opportunity that we could just not pass up, and as a wife who is blessed to not have to work, I just needed to support that decision. Now, if he would have told me we were moving to Alaska, i think i would have passed! :) That all said he has never wavered or questioned our choice, until he threw those words out to me! It really made me think, and to be honest I was worried and sad. I feel apart, Thank god Susie was there to pick me right up and remind me change is good and things take time! I worried, as I am known to do and finally went back to him and asked " do u think we made the wrong choice?" After some real soul searching and realization we came to the answer... NO! The holidays were hard with no family here to celebrate and a bit of jealousy that our family was all together at home. Then New Years rolled around and while we had a fantastic time, we missed our BFF's at home. (their facetime chat didn't help..:( )  I know how hard it has been for me to to not spend a weekend with The Liles , Thede's or even the Geske's but never realized how hard it has been for Jon as well. He is off working everyday, Long days, sometimes up to 10 hrs with his commute, no time to make friends or meet people, and while I appreciate this I just assumed this move wasn't bothering him. Never assume, right? He loves his job, loves or new friends, loves our area, but he is missing "his" friends and family. I felt so bad to never really think to ask about things other than work. That all said it reminded me we often are so busy taking care of children and their feelings we forget about ourselves or spouses. Change is change and it affects us all, I've realized I need to step back and take my focus off the kids per say and now on "US"! My goal for the year is to be more positive in life, something that is very difficult for me, and to build and maintain lasting, loving relationships with those that deserve it!

I saw this quote today and felt it was very fitting!

Life is too short to wake up in the morning
                           with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right
and forget about the ones who don't.
                           And believe
that everything happens for a reason...
                           if you get a chance-take it;
                           if it changes your life- let it.
Nobody said that it would be easy...
                           They just promised
                           it would be worth it..

Where oh Where has the time gone..

I lot of time has come and go since my last post and I promise to do better. I am so good at uploading to facebook but never here. That being said this may be a long post...

Over Thanksgiving my parents joined us in Paradise for 2 weeks, and my dad brought along his yucky cold! YUCK! we spent thanksgiving with my parents, our new "good" friends Eric and Dana, and their 2 girls. As well as all the kids in our neighborhood! The kids played outside all day while us ladies cooked and the 3 guys drank! Between 6 adults we finished off 6 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of tequila. yikes. It was my first year hosting and I loved every minute of it. We even made the kids shave ice. We wished all of our family could be here with us, but our neighbors and friends are quickly becoming family.

T and Lauryn.. we think they look like they could be related

Shave Ice

Compliments of Mikey.. Thanks for the margarita maker!

just a few of the kids in the neighborhood

While my parents were we got to do some fun stuff once grandpa was feeling better. We went to the zoo here and it is beautiful. Very different from the Portland Zoo and lots of animals that we would normally not see. I told the kids it felt like we were back at Animal Kingdom in Disneyworld..

she wore this jacket all day even though it was 85 out!

yes, they had a cow in this whole cool farming section

Carson was in heaven with all the monkeys they have here

Everything is open u literally could reach out and touch the animals.. 

We also spent a yucky day out on the North Shore just to see the stormy weather and of course take my parents to one of our favorite restaurants "cholos".

T had plenty of soccer over the 2 weeks so my parents got to see the "new" team and watch her play. They also got to witness a few practices and Skill sessions. They were amazed at the level of play these kids are at. Her team plays up a at u12 all season then drops down to u11's for state. Big learning advantage for them. They also have all the girls playing on 2 teams for the winter season to get some exposure and more game time in. T is playing with the U11 boys for now with 5 other girls.  We had a great thing at home with amazing coaches but this program is out of this world. It has been an adjustment for T as she is the not the "go to" girl anymore and each player on the field is amazingly good. She is also learning each person has a specific role on the field and they are to play at that role. Her coaches as good about playing the girls in various spots that they are capable of playing so they are not pigeon holed in one spot. She is playing the outside mid and forward. She is finally adjusting and at one point we were not sure she could make the jump to where she needed to be to play at this level. Her coach reminded us it was a confidence issue not an ability issue and that we would all work together as a team to get her feeling it. She finally hit her groove 2 weeks ago and scored. Her confidence went thru the roof and we are hoping things begin to fall into place. 

some things never change with all the boys and their toys!

Christmas this year was a bit lonely and very strange for us. We had plenty of things this holiday season to keep us busy. The kids are out of school for 2.5 weeks as it really is their only break besides 5 days at spring break and 2 more days off till they get out of school in May. So to start the holidays T's soccer team had a party at her Coach's house. It was so nice and enjoyable to watch my kids fit in with the others and T to really start to feel apart of the team. She and one other girl are really the only "girly" girls so that has been a change as well! The families are all so nice and welcoming and we enjoy them. Santa even paid a visit to the kids that night.

Team socks.. super cute

T asked santa for a "CAR" ??

C asked for a "puppy".. so sad!

L asked for a dragon.. ??

I was looking for fun things to do with the kids to see lights and came across the "Christmas in Polynesia" at the cultural center. It was a 30 minute canoe ride through the canals. Each area had a scene played out of the "story of Christmas" it was wonderful to see and hear! We went with our neighbors John, Tussanee and their son Jonathan. ( he is the boys BFF) Since we were on the NS we had to of course visit Cholos.. for a yummy dinner.

Christmas eve we went to church at place we will hopefully call "home." We loved it and the kids did as well. It was very much like southlake at home and it felt very comfortable and soothing! After church we headed into town to see the Rivera side of the family. We spent a few hours catching up with them all as they were so excited for us to be back "home"!  Christmas morning we opened presents, ate breakfast, skyped with my family and then headed to WaimeaYardhouse. We all pretty much forgot it was Christmas as it felt like another day. Kinda sad, but at least we enjoyed ourselves. It reminded us why we took the adventure here, SIMPLICITY! but with that said.. we will be in Oregon for the holidays next year~! 

Settling in...

 Carson on his board, took us a while to get him out there but once he did it he loved it..

 Logie has no fear and loves to be on his board as much as he can. He loves the big waves..

 Grandma's last night.. we all went to the Yardhouse to celebrate he last night..

 This was my dad's last night.. we went Kona Brewing in Hawaii Kai on the marina

We now have been here just over 2 weeks. Kids have pretty much settled into a routine and are loving it. They quickly made friends and we are blessed to have a street full of kids!! They spend all day outside on the weekends and week nights after homework, they will all be outside till dark! We are still getting to know people and that has been hard. I was so blessed to have such great friends at home that "change" has been hard for me, Although the first two people I did meet were Susie and Tina. Kinda ironic, don't u think? T tried out for 2 soccer teams and made both, we left the decision to her and she chose the team that is farthest (of course )from the house but I think has the biggest potential to teach her alot.Her new coach coaches HS soccer, played professionally and has coached at the college level. His daughter was the #1 recuit out of Hawaii last yr and plays at UCLA.. She also plays on the US U-19 national team, so to say soccer with him is challenging and exciting all at the same time is putting it mildly..  Her new teammates are just as dedicated, if not more than she is and it is a big learning curve for her. She is adjusting well and learning their style of play and the girls have been so accepting and sweet to her, as have the parents with us! After each game they have a team potluck which has been a great opportunity for us to get to know everyone. Jon always told me it was like this here, but to experience it is another thing!! Now driving into Hawaii Kai 3 times a week.. Yikes..My commute is about 35/45 mins in, not bad since it takes about 25 mins to get to town depending on traffic and then I turn right around and head home, to bad it is about an hr home with traffic.. Jon brings her home so they get to have quality "catch" up time on the drive home. Plus there usually is no traffic by the time they head home..  We have made a priority to spend time as a family since that is all we have at the moment. We eat breakfast and dinner together and have Friday family time in Honolulu since sissy has skills in Kahala those nights and saturday night movie time. It has been nice spending the time with them and really getting to know each one as they go thru this change. We make one day on the weekends about going to the beach and hanging out. Even if we spend just a few hrs there the kids love it. They each have their own body boards and are really loving the weather and chance to learn something new. T has conquered her fear of "sharks' and is ready to learn to surf, so she is just waiting for her chance. We are thinking a "family" xmas gift with be a surf board, but Momma wants a paddle board!!
Jons work is going better than expected and he is loving it. It is a real change for us as he works in town which takes about 15/20 mins to get to, so he leaves when I walk to the kids to school in the am and I do not see him till after practice at 6:45 (m,w) or after work at 5:15/5:30 (t,th) !! Thank god for Aloha Fridays when he is usually home by 3.. it is an adjustment for us all to have him gone all day but we are managing and finding things to keep us busy. I have joined the gym here and it is just not the same as Clubsport.. but it is a place to go and workout. Although, I am finding myself running more outside and only going in to lift, spin and do yoga. I have found a new appreciation for yoga and love it!  It is helping w my running and my back. I am finally back up to 30 plus miles a week and loving it.. Early morning runs in the sun cannot be beat and it makes 6 to 7 miles seem like a breeze.. plus having Jon on some of these runs makes it nice as well.  All in all things are good here and we are rolling with the tide. Waiting for some visitors.. :)